anxiety, autism, autisticspectrum, Body dysmorphia, Bodydysmorphicdisorder, bodypositivity, depression, expat, family, mental health, mental illness, parenting, postnatal, postnataldepression, recovery

Tired.

Sex in the dark, breathing in. Sleeping at awkward angles. Cramped up arms and back. Shallow breathing brings relief. Alarm rings. Groundhog Day. Baggy clothes to hide in. Tied up hair and shades. Peeing with the door open, shush-shushing to  wipe. Nap time and coffee. Social media blues. Work trip inadequacies. Jealousy. Anger. Regret. Tears.… Continue reading Tired.

anxiety, autism, autisticspectrum, Body dysmorphia, Bodydysmorphicdisorder, bodypositivity, depression, expat, family, mental health, mental illness, parenting, postnatal, postnataldepression, recovery

Wednesday. 

Rolling out of bed, baby in my arms, it's 10am.  We didn't sleep, he knew that, and he left us in bed.  The floor is swept, the bin is empty.  I smile, those small things tell silently that he loves me.  I put on my dressing gown.  I know we will mostly be alone today,… Continue reading Wednesday. 

anxiety, Body dysmorphia, Bodydysmorphicdisorder, bodypositivity, depression, family, mental health, mental illness, parenting, postnatal, postnataldepression, recovery

Eyes.

I get out of the car and they're on me in seconds, beady and blue.  They scan up and down, back up again.  Wide, eager, nervous. Blinking rapidly now.  Confusion seems to follow.  Still fat, and yet, at ease? I feel them find the regrowth of my hair, the tufts of natural mousey hair sprouting… Continue reading Eyes.